Leo was due on May 16th 2009, for some reason I was convinced he would be on time if not early. as we don't do late! It turned out he was quite happy where he was and was waiting until the last moment, I was booked to be induced on the evening of the 28th, in fact by then I was having mild contractions so on arrival at the hospital after monitoring me for a short time they broke my waters just before midnight.
Now looking back most of the night is a bit of a blur and I look back and think it was not THAT bad - I think this is some clever trick or nature though designed not to put you off having more than one!
After my waters were broken we moved to the delivery suite, Aaron nipped out for a cigarette and I can remember being stood bent over the back of a chair thinking' Oh bugger, this actually quite hurts!' I can't really remember time scales but after a while I asked for gas and air, I thought it wasn't working and was just making me feel sick so some time later I ended up also having pethedine as well - I then realised how to inhale the gas and air and was therefore as high as a kite!
This is where most of it is a bit of a blur, it was getting later (or earlier I suppose - I remember watching it get light outside and the 'early turn' midwife starting her shift) It was getting harder and cutting a long and painfully hazy story a bit shorter I was told I had to get the baby out in the next half an hour....
I remember thinking 'I can't get it out any bloody quicker than I'm doing, believe me I would if I could!' I 'thought' I was pushing but I realised right at the end that I wasn't pushing properly, I do wonder now if it would have been quicker and easier had I done in the beginning
I had no detailed birth plan, the only thing I asked for was to make sure he was cleaned up before giving him to me (especially as Aaron was being there against his wishes) and not to even ask Aaron if he wanted to cut the cord, watch the delivery or anything else like that!
The actual arrival suddenly got a bit dramatic, it was assisted and I was cut, Leo was delivered via ventouse and there were two doctors, a midwife and a student all around the bed. As Leo was delivered by the doctor - who didn't know the plan, he
put threw a newborn Leo onto my chest..... in a very non-maternal way I screamed and shouted 'get him off', Aaron was facing very determinedly towards my head at the wall.
They cleaned him up, while I was stitched (MY GOD that bit hurt!) and he was half an hour old when I held him and we got our first look at him. I've often felt a bit bad about that, especially as so many people really treasure the first few moments after birth and the thought that the first person the baby has contact with is the mother. But I don't think I'd do it differently given the choice again, although I'd try not to scream at my poor seconds old baby.
So, did Aaron end up being pleased he was there?
No, not at all. If we were to have another nothing at all would make him be present again. He hated every second of it and makes no apology for that - that's fine, he did warn me again and again he did not want to do it so it should be no surprise. It does upset me a little, I don't know why - maybe I am disappointed that it wasn't a good experience at all, maybe I feel bad that I forced him to be there.
All the way through it I kept thinking how pleased I was that he was there, I may have nearly even broken his hand in appreciation. I say I couldn't have done it without him - I imagine I would have done as I would have not had a huge amount of choice in that matter but I will be forever glad I didn't have to. I always felt honoured that he did something so against his wishes for me and just wish he could not regret it quite so much.
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